


On the Cellular Level

by sjhw_tolerance (mscorkill)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-22
Updated: 2012-04-22
Packaged: 2017-11-04 02:27:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/388669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mscorkill/pseuds/sjhw_tolerance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam's recovery from Nirrti's genetic manipulations restores more than her DNA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Cellular Level

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this came to me during a viewing of Metamorphosis. Enjoy!
> 
> Originally posted January 2012.

ON THE CELLULAR LEVEL

Eggar watched her closely, his one good eye searching her pale face where a sheen of sweat glimmered on her forehead, the slight trembling of her body that didn’t stop even when she was suspended in the machine. She was too weak for a full session, so Eggar slowly dialed down the machine. She was stabilized for the moment and his stolen memories told him that once her cells had a short rest period, he could start again and fully reverse the effects of Nirrti’s cellular manipulation. 

Moving fast for all his deformities, Eggar reached Major Carter before she collapsed, gently easing her down into a sitting position on the dais. Berthene waited in the shadows, ready if needed, but Eggar shook his head when the diminutive man stepped forward, he’d take care of the woman. He sat with her slumped against his side, watching her respirations, his malformed fingers surprisingly gentle as they rested against the too fast pulse in her wrist. 

With the machine off, the room was quiet, the only sounds Major Carter’s ragged breathing, which slowly settled into a slower, but still shallow rhythm. “What happened?” she murmured, her head rising slowly as she looked around with bleary eyes.

Her voice was weak, but Eggar was encouraged. As confident as he was in the knowledge he had obtained to reverse the damage, he also knew if anything happened to this woman, he would have to answer to O’Neill.

“Nirrti is dead.”

She drew away from him slightly and frowned, as if she was having trouble processing what he had told her. Her eyes moved slowly around the chamber, Berthene faded deeper into the shadows, his robes rustling against the tiles. She looked at him, her eyes still shadowed. “Where’s Colonel O’Neill?”

“He has gone to talk with your leader.” They hadn’t wanted to leave her, the other members of her team, but once they knew she would live, they had reluctantly scattered; Jonas and Teal’c with Woden to reassure and triage those who were left and O’Neill to make contact with his command. She frowned again and Eggar lightly probed her mind, but her thoughts were too chaotic for him to read more than the confusion and apprehension he could already see on her face. 

“I feel…different,” she murmured. She held out one of her hands, which still shook slightly and flexed her fingers, before letting it drop back into her lap, as if even that small effort was too much to ask of her abused body.

“I have started reversing the changes Nirrti made in you.”

“But how?” Fatigue and confusion warred with the faint glimmer of hope Eggar detected on her face.

“I read her thoughts.” It was a simple statement of fact. He had gazed into the very soul of the being he’d worshipped and discovered an evil and ugliness that saddened him almost as much as it disgusted him. The betrayal had stunned him and if Woden hadn’t killed her, Eggar would have done it himself

“Ah.”

Eggar nodded, confirming her unspoken question. “Before she died, I took what I needed to help my people—and you.” He didn’t speak of the other horrors he’d seen in her mind, or the cold and calculating cruelty that had wrapped itself around her very being—or of the sad and silent tears of she who would be silent forever. 

She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened again, they glimmered with faint hope. “Thank you.”

Eggar quickly looked away, he did not deserve her gratitude and did not want this woman who had done them no harm to see the shame he couldn’t hide. He didn’t deserve her thanks, he would have let her die if not for O’Neill and the doubt that the man had planted in his mind. The pain and despair of his god’s deception was a jagged wound in his heart. Alebran and so many others were all lost because he hadn’t been brave enough to look into Nirrti’s mind. He couldn’t make it up to his people, but maybe he could make it up to her. “O’Neill,” he said gruffly, sharing what he had sensed in the man. “He cares about you, more than he should.”

He thought she would be pleased, but the hope in her eyes faded. “Maybe…once,” she murmured.

“He loves you.” She still looked sad and he didn’t understand; the love O’Neill felt for this woman burned as strong and deep as his hatred had for Nirrti. “This does not make you happy? 

Her lips curved in a slight smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It doesn’t change anything.”

He lightly probed her mind, the calm acceptance in her words warred with the cacophony of thoughts and emotions he could feeling swirling in her mind; the love was there, glowing dimly…but there was also fear and doubt and uncertainty, smothering the fragile embers. With his own recent failures still fresh in his mind, Eggar felt his frustration rise and he forced himself to look straight into her eyes, revealing the pain he kept carefully hidden. “You cannot hide from me, Major Carter. Do not make the same mistake I made.” He held her gaze for a moment longer, until he sensed acceptance and relief rise above the muddled thoughts in her mind. He nodded, satisfaction filling him. “Come,” he said, rising to his feet and holding out his hand to her. “You are ready for your next treatment.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam moaned softly, her mind slowly surfacing and trying to make sense of the confusing signals from her body. Her bed was soft and comfortable but the softness only went so far in masking the ache in all her muscles and joints. Her eyes fluttered open and she expected to see her floral sheets, the quilt she’d just bought and loved; the slightly faded wallpaper she wanted to replace when she had the time and the drapes that didn’t quite match the new quilt. The room was still and quiet and when her vision cleared, she panicked. “No,” she gasped, struggling to sit up and trying to kick free from the soft, plush coverlet.

“Hey, hey. Sam, it’s okay.” She knew that voice and some of her terror fled; she looked around the strange room wildly, barely registering the ornate and exotic décor of the chamber as she searched for him. He materialized out of the shadows and squatted in front of her, his warm hands closing around hers. “It’s okay,” the Colonel repeated. “You’re safe.”

It all came flooding back to her then; Nirrti was dead and she was safe, they were all safe. She’d been back in the machine, Eggar had been trying to reverse what Nirrti had done and he’d told her things she tried very hard to ignore. And now here she was, alone with him and she couldn’t stop herself from looking at him, she needed to make sure he was okay. He looked tired, the shadows under his eyes and the lines etched into his face more pronounced. She knew he’d been worried, she had fuzzy memories of his cool hand on her hot forehead, his eyes dark and serious with fear for her and the longer she looked at him now, the deeper she could feel herself sinking…. 

Snatching her hands free, she ignored his quick maneuver to get out of her way and scrambled to her feet. “I’m all right,” she asserted, only to sway drunkenly when the sudden movement made her lightheaded. She felt his strong hands close around her arms, easing her back down onto the soft cushions. 

“You’re not all right,” he said, his dark eyes concerned. “Come on,” he coaxed her into lying back down and she choked back a strangled sob, sinking back onto the bed. She was exhausted and still scared and worried which probably explained why she lay there and watched passively when he bent over and quickly undid the laces on her boots, tugging them off and setting them down on the floor. She didn’t move when he shrugged out of his vest before sitting on the edge of the bed and removing his boots. He stood then and her heart stopped in panic when she thought he was going to leave her, but he merely waved his hand over a panel on the closest wall, the lights in the room dropping until only a soft glow flickered from the recessed lighting.

Her heart started back into a slow beat when he stood at the bedside and looked down at her, his eyes shadowed. She could only sense the conflicting emotions that were revealed by the tight set of his jaw and the still grim set of his mouth. His chest rose and fell in a deep breath and when he sat back down on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping, she scooted away from him, only to stop when he murmured roughly, “Come here.”

His arm slid under her shoulders, tucking her into his side and she nearly wept at the contact, instinctively curling into him, resting her head on his shoulder, her hand coming to rest tentatively on his chest. “Sir,” she protested half-heartedly, her voice so soft and weak that it scared her.

“Carter,” he rumbled over her head, his matter-of-fact tone reassuring her. “I’m tired, you’re tired. Eggar says you need to sleep for at least eight hours before he can start your last session. Jonas and Teal’c have everything under control and the Russian team is keeping watch until morning. Sleep.”

She let herself relax then, sinking deeper into him, muttering, “Yes, sir.”

Beneath her cheek she could feel the reassuring rise and fall of his chest, the faint beat of his heart. And she felt the faintest whisper of a kiss in her hair and his hand lightly caressing her cheek when he murmured, “Goodnight.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No!” Sam moaned, struggling to scream but caught in the grip of her nightmare, she could only gasp out her fear. Fighting her way through her terror, she finally she shot straight up, her heart pounding and gasping for breath. Awareness came quickly and she took a deep breath, forcing her fear back down. This was the second time she’d woken in this room in a panic and she hated feeling scared and helpless. She was safe…they were all safe…so why did her subconscious insist that she wasn’t? 

The mattress shifted, the covers rustling and she remembered she wasn’t alone. “Sam.” She slanted her head and looked at him, rumpled, yet immediately alert and she wondered if he’d even been asleep. “It’s okay, you’re safe.” 

He’d told her that earlier and she did believe him. But still…. “I know,” she admitted. “I just….” Her voice trailed off and she looked away from his too perceptive eyes, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms tightly around them.

“Hey.” The mattress shifted again and he was in front of her. “It’s okay. She can’t hurt you anymore. And Eggar says you only need one more treatment and you’ll be good as new.”

She looked at him, trying to see beyond the words meant to cheer her up and the superficial concern any commanding officer had for someone under his command to the man beneath, to what Eggar had seen. She was so used to ignoring the subtle signs of any deeper emotions from him that it took her a moment, but it was there, not quite hidden beneath his carefully neutral expression—it was the something more that had held her while she slept and gave her the courage to act.

Taking a deep breath, she lowered her knees and scooted closer to him. “Eggar told me,” she said, looking him straight in the eye. “What he saw in your mind.”

“Did he now?”

His voice and his eyes were cool now and she took hold of his hand, anchoring him to her; her fear of losing him stronger than her fear of rejection. “Yes,” she replied. “Jack, how long can this go on? How long can we keep pretending?”

“I never wanted to pretend.” He was blunt; he didn’t try to soften the accusation and she accepted that she was the one who had made that unilateral decision. 

“It seemed the right decision at the time,” she defended half-heartedly. “But I thought…” Her voice drifted off, she wasn’t sure what she had thought, that they’d change? That she’d change? She had rehashed her reasons so many times and she had been convinced at the time that her decision had been the best thing for both of them. But when she saw him like this, when she couldn’t deny the truth any longer, she felt ashamed of her selfishness and blithe assumption that her decision was the right one. 

“What? That it would just go away? Not going to happen, Sam.” 

And he confirmed what she had come to realize

Maybe there was something still not quite right with her on a cellular level, or maybe everything was finally completely right. It didn’t matter that they were on an alien planet, or still technically on a mission, and while she could probably blame what she was about to do on the accumulated stresses of a year that had started with Daniel’s death and most recently with the Colonel being marooned with Maybourne, she’d only be lying to herself again and she wouldn’t stop anyway. Her free hand trembled slightly when she reached up and caressed his cheek; he didn’t move away and she leaned into him, pressing her lips against his. She thought for one brief moment he was going to turn her away, but then his hands cupped her face and his lips opened beneath hers, the kiss exploding her senses.

Sam let him press her back into the soft cushions of their borrowed bed, she still felt weak and shaky; but if she felt fragile, this moment was even more fragile. The initial frenzy of the kiss slowed to more gentle touches, Jack just barely brushing his lips against hers. When she felt him start to pull away, she clutched at his shoulders. “Jack.”

“Sam,” he rumbled, gently wrapping his hands around her wrists and lowering her arms. “You need to rest.”

“No,” she said, panic welling through her. She struggled briefly against his loose grip and when she freed her hands, she clutched at his shirt front with one while she stroked his cheek with the other, cursing her still trembling fingers when she lightly traced his lips. She didn’t beg, she didn’t plead, she just told him the truth she could no longer deny. “I need you.”

She tugged on his shirt front and would have sobbed with relief if she had the breath, but with his mouth fastened hungrily on hers, all she could do was respond to their rekindled desire. When she’d imagined making love with him, which happened more frequently than she liked, it was always fast and frantic, as if she couldn’t allow herself to feel anything other than desperation when it came to the forbidden pleasure of loving him. And while she still felt that desperation, she wasn’t prepared for the slow, gentle and oh-so-thorough method to his kisses and caresses.

Of course, she discovered early into their mutual exchange of caresses, she had over-estimated her recovery and could do little more than lay there and accept that he would be the one making love to her and not the other way around. Her vulnerability worried her until she saw the understanding in his dark eyes. 

“It’s okay, let me,” he rumbled, when she couldn’t finish the simple task of unbuttoning his shirt. So she let him, and concentrated instead of what she could do, which was work her hands beneath his T-shirt and caress his warm flesh. The need and urgency behind their caresses was only magnified by the care and time he took in removing both their clothes; by the time naked flesh was pressed against naked flesh, Sam felt like her senses were going to explode from the sheer pleasure of the contact.

Sam could have wept from the care and tenderness he took with her, each gentle touch and soothing caress bringing exquisite pleasure. Her skin felt over-sensitive, she didn’t know if it was an effect of the treatment and her mending DNA or just the relief of finally giving into his touch and feelings so long denied. When he finally covered her with his hard body, she was gasping for breath. He surrounded her completely and she should have felt overwhelmed and over-powered, yet she felt only a sense of peace and rightness. 

She cradled him against her body with her arms and legs, a sweet ache spreading through her as he joined his body to hers. She clung to him as he moved slowly against her, she could feel the control he took in the fine tension of his muscles beneath her hands and each carefully measured stroke. A slow wave of pleasure started to grow inside her, washing over her in unending pleasure. She clung to him as if her very life depended on their connection, and maybe it did. He was her anchor when pleasure crested, waves of ecstasy sweeping through her. Sam held him close when moments later he shuddered against hers, his body pressing her deep into the soft bed when he too was caught up in the swell of passion.

Jack was heavy when he finally relaxed against her, but she didn’t mind, a curious contentment filling her. She wouldn’t mind staying this way forever, she decided, stroking her fingers through his hair. But the outside world couldn’t be ignored; the sounds of increased activity and distant voices eventually penetrated into their secluded chamber. It was with reluctance that Sam released her hold on Jack when, with a lingering kiss, he finally pulled himself out of her arms. She watched as he dressed, unashamedly enjoying his lean and muscular body. 

When he sat back down on the edge of the bed to put on his boots, he commented almost casually, “Nothing has to change.”

Instead of fear, her heart swelled with tenderness and love for him; that he would still offer her a way out if that was what she wanted. She sat up, uncaring that the covers fell down around her waist. “Is that what you want?” His dark eyes flared with desire and hinted at an even deeper emotion when he turned his head and looked at her. Two years earlier she’d seen the identical expression on his face but had been afraid to do what it would take to make it a reality. This time she wasn’t. “Because that’s not what I want.”

The intense look of satisfaction that filled his face was all the answer she needed and her lips curved in a tender smile when he calmly replied. “Good. I’m glad that’s settled then.”

He stood up then and she watched in bemusement as he gathered up her scattered clothing and started to help her dress. “Now let’s get you cured so we can go home.”

She’d never heard sweeter words and murmured, “Yes, sir.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Major Carter,” Eggar said, “Please step onto the platform.” 

He watched her carefully from across the room and sensed the difference in her immediately. Beyond the brightness in her eyes and the return of color to her face, there was a lightness to her step as she took her place on the dais—and to her heart. And it was obvious that the man who stood so protectively at her side had brought about the change. Eggar looked down at the control panel, not wanting to risk an inadvertent glimpse into O’Neill; but he couldn’t resist letting his mind glide every so quietly over the Major’s and a slight smile warmed his malformed face when what he sensed there lightened some of the guilt that rested so heavily on his soul.

His hands moved lightly over the controls, making the adjustments that would restore the Major’s DNA. “Let us begin.”

THE END


End file.
